I was out of state...in town...

Have you ever gone to a restaurant while you were on vacation in another state? Somewhere very different from where you live...like, Illinois or something. You look around, and you see an unusual shortage of people wearing red GO HOGS shirts. You don't hear anyone saying "ya'll" and you don't hear any talk of how the Panthers are looking this year. It makes you acutely aware that you are not in your normal element, and that you are not the "norm."

Friday night, J wanted to go out to eat to celebrate her graduation from preschool. Of course I said yes, and I gave her the pick of where we go. She settled on Dixie Cafe. We were led through the restaurant, towards a table in the back. As we walked, I looked around and noticed an overwhelming absence of people like me. There were at least 2 adults at every table. So I sat at my table in the back, and I looked around at the families that surrounded me. It made me painfully aware of what I was missing out on, and it made me angry. And sad. And resiliant, all at the same time... Maybe I'm not permanently in my position...maybe I'm just out of state, and I'm temporarily out of my element. And someday soon, I'll be back in my comfort zone. I'll have a protector and a provider. And I'll be right back at home, comfortable and familiar...